Before You Get Married →

Whether you are recently engaged, married for twenty years or single and looking, this video gives research based information about how to intentionally make a marriage or partnership work. It comes down to the small moments and choices you make to be present.

Link Between Family Systems and Physical Illness

The question is: chicken or the egg? Are the highs and lows of medical conditions enough of a contributing favor to mood to create disorders OR are the disorders simultaneously and inextricably related OR do the mental health disorders create various other medical conditions?

I would love to know more and for anyone who needs more info, please click the link below. It appears that most people do have a link between the two, and if nothing else, having a positive mood and medical history can provide more resiliency.


http://blog.aamft.org/2016/04/using-the-mft-lens-to-venture-into-uncharted-waters.html

We Marry the Wrong Person

An impressive New York Times piece on modern marriage and the reality that many people may not need to divorce. 

 http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html?_r=0

Small Talk v. Intimacy

So how do you spend the (sometimes small) amount of time you have to talk to your partner? Do you promote connection or do you talk past each other? The difference may not be as obvious as you would think. 

 https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-protect-intimacy/

Take a Vacation

Taking a vacation is not always a viable option for couples. The extra time we spend together may be the first thing that goes in a marriage. What you can do to make your marriage work: 

 http://verilymag.com/2016/05/marriage-advice-keeping-the-romance-alive-lasting-love

How NOT To Argue

The article below talks about the four things you cannot do when you argue with a partner if you plan to keep your relationship.

The Gottmans refer to these as the "Four Horsemen", or the ultimates in what not to do, and this article does a great job of laying it out there.

Keep in mind that these four things are not easy to change if they are part of your argument style, and contempt is the ringer when it comes to predicting the end of a relationship. If you are stuck in contempt or struggling with ANY of the four, give me a call and we can work on changing not only the argument style but also make sure your voice is heard.

http://www.relrules.com/4-things-you-cant-do-when-you-argue-with-your-partner/