A great resource about how one couple uses the Gottman resource Aftermath of a Fight in real life. Reach out and schedule a session if you could use some help or resources like the one mentioned here.
Self care: Myths and Misunderstandings
As I reflect on the short break from work that I've taken this week, I am reminded of the simplicity of waking up, completing tasks toward the good of my family, and the deep sense of wellbeing that comes from organization.
I think that for the last few years, time off has come with a sick child or appointments which require more emotional or physical investment (not to mention financial). I have forgotten that finding "the time" doesn't have to mean "me time", and focusing on finding me time has almost felt like a mythical odyssey of a journey--too many barriers, too many partial truths, too much thought and not enough payoff for the energy.
This week, though, I've cleaned the house, taken walks, spent time with my son and taught him to garden. The gardening in particular has been a revelation wherein I am remembering that expense and time are not equal to afford deep satisfaction. I need low expense, high creativity and choice, and the newness that comes with teaching my son how to care for our house and plants. This combination feels like self care-- I know that I am more solid and in tune because of how I have spent my time.
It is nice to remember this part of myself that I had forgotten while working, under daily and life stress.
Before You Get Married →
Whether you are recently engaged, married for twenty years or single and looking, this video gives research based information about how to intentionally make a marriage or partnership work. It comes down to the small moments and choices you make to be present.
Link Between Family Systems and Physical Illness
The question is: chicken or the egg? Are the highs and lows of medical conditions enough of a contributing favor to mood to create disorders OR are the disorders simultaneously and inextricably related OR do the mental health disorders create various other medical conditions?
I would love to know more and for anyone who needs more info, please click the link below. It appears that most people do have a link between the two, and if nothing else, having a positive mood and medical history can provide more resiliency.
http://blog.aamft.org/2016/04/using-the-mft-lens-to-venture-into-uncharted-waters.html
36 Questions to Ask Your Spouse
A key to falling in love again...
Power and Control
You may or may not have heard about the Power and Control wheel, or a tool that I often use in sessions to talk about the dynamics related to power in a relationship.
If your partner exhibits any of the dynamics described in the wheel, you may be in need of help. Consider reaching out to a therapist, or at least to a friend who has resources to help you safely navigate an exit from the relationship.