How to Keep Our Heads Above Water--Best of the Best Articles for Couples Coping in COVID-19

I have to give credit to all of the wonderful therapists and researchers out there who are compiling excellent information on what to do during COVID-19 uncertainty. Much of what I read and attend to has to do with improving relationships. I hope you enjoy this compilation as much I as I did in reading them:

For Better or For Worse: Conflict and Connecting in Crisis

Addiction Recovery and Shelter in Place: What Do I Do?

Coping With Uncertainty During COVID-19: An International Gottman Perspective

How to Use Aftermath of a Fight →

A great resource about how one couple uses the Gottman resource Aftermath of a Fight in real life. Reach out and schedule a session if you could use some help or resources like the one mentioned here.

Before You Get Married →

Whether you are recently engaged, married for twenty years or single and looking, this video gives research based information about how to intentionally make a marriage or partnership work. It comes down to the small moments and choices you make to be present.

We Marry the Wrong Person

An impressive New York Times piece on modern marriage and the reality that many people may not need to divorce. 

 http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html?_r=0

Small Talk v. Intimacy

So how do you spend the (sometimes small) amount of time you have to talk to your partner? Do you promote connection or do you talk past each other? The difference may not be as obvious as you would think. 

 https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-to-protect-intimacy/

Take a Vacation

Taking a vacation is not always a viable option for couples. The extra time we spend together may be the first thing that goes in a marriage. What you can do to make your marriage work: 

 http://verilymag.com/2016/05/marriage-advice-keeping-the-romance-alive-lasting-love

Which Areas Do You Work On?

Being in a marriage can be difficult territory, especially if you don't know what your fights mean. The Gottmans have narrowed down the top 6 fights that all married couples have, and the areas of work needed as a result.

https://www.gottman.com/blog/6-arguments-all-married-couples-have/ 

How NOT To Argue

The article below talks about the four things you cannot do when you argue with a partner if you plan to keep your relationship.

The Gottmans refer to these as the "Four Horsemen", or the ultimates in what not to do, and this article does a great job of laying it out there.

Keep in mind that these four things are not easy to change if they are part of your argument style, and contempt is the ringer when it comes to predicting the end of a relationship. If you are stuck in contempt or struggling with ANY of the four, give me a call and we can work on changing not only the argument style but also make sure your voice is heard.

http://www.relrules.com/4-things-you-cant-do-when-you-argue-with-your-partner/